There’s no denying it: the infertility journey is an emotional one.
Many people start IVF after facing numerous setbacks, so it’s common to begin the process already feeling worn out.
IVF often feels like a last hope, which only adds to the emotional pressure.
Then comes the waiting, the constant appointments, the rollercoaster of emotions, and the ups and downs of each cycle.
It’s no wonder people feel anxious, stressed, and hopeless.
The hardest part is that there are no guarantees, and that’s incredibly tough when it’s something you want so badly.
When starting your IVF treatments, it’s important to recognise that this process can take a toll on mental health, and that’s okay.
This World Mental Health Day, we’re talking to Dr. Joana Mesquita Guimarães, Clinical Director of fertility clinic Procriar, about the impact of infertility and IVF on your mental health and what you can do to take care of yourself along the way.
IVF involves more than just your body; it touches your mind and heart, too.
Here’s why it can be so challenging:
IVF often comes with high hopes.
Each cycle is a step closer to your dream, but when things don’t go as planned, it can feel deeply disappointing.
The ups and downs can leave you feeling emotionally drained.
Dr. Guimarães explains:
“During IVF, there are several points where things might not go as hoped. A cycle could be cancelled if your body doesn’t respond to the medications as expected. Sometimes, fewer eggs are retrieved than anticipated, or the quality of the eggs might be lower than hoped. After fertilisation, not all embryos may develop into blastocysts, and even those that do might not be genetically normal after PGT-A testingThese uncertainties can add to the emotional strain of the process.”
IVF can make you feel like so much is out of your hands.
From how your body responds to the hormone treatments, such as whether your ovaries produce enough eggs, to the quality of those eggs, there are many variables.
Even if everything seems to go smoothly, fertilisation might not happen as expected, or embryos might not develop as hoped.
Then there’s the waiting—waiting to see if embryos reach the blastocyst stage, if they’re genetically normal, and ultimately, if the embryo transfer will lead to a pregnancy.
All these uncertainties can leave you feeling anxious, stressed, and powerless, as so much of the process is beyond your control.
The medications used in IVF can lead to a range of physical discomforts, such as bloating, headaches, and fatigue.
These symptoms are often the result of hormonal changes that your body undergoes during the treatment.
Hormones like oestrogen and progesterone, which are used to stimulate egg production, or prepare the uterus for embryo transfer can also have a significant impact on your mood.
It’s completely normal to feel more emotional, anxious, or even down during this time.
You might experience mood swings, increased irritability, or feelings of sadness and overwhelm, all of which can add to the stress of the IVF process.
These emotional shifts are a natural response to the medications and the intense experience of going through fertility treatment.
IVF can be both expensive and time-consuming, which adds to the stress.
It’s tough to invest so much money, time, and energy into something that doesn’t come with a guarantee.
The financial side of things can be especially worrying, knowing that even after all that, success isn’t assured.
This uncertainty about the outcome, combined with the high costs, can make the whole process feel even more overwhelming and emotionally draining.
It’s common to feel isolated during IVF, especially when people around you don’t quite understand the emotional strain.
Friends might say things like “IVF is exciting” with good intentions, but it can feel far from exciting when you’re dealing with stress, uncertainty, and fear of the unknown.
Hearing pregnancy announcements from friends can also be incredibly tough—it’s natural to feel happy for them, but it can bring up painful feelings about your own struggles.
This mix of emotions can strain relationships, especially if communication becomes difficult or you and your partner are experiencing different feelings.
IVF is challenging for both partners, not just the one undergoing treatment.
Partners often feel a mix of emotions, from wanting to be supportive to dealing with their own stress and fears.
It can be tough when they feel sidelined by the focus on the woman’s body, leading to feelings of helplessness or frustration.
This can make communication harder, especially if each partner processes the journey differently.
It’s important to talk openly and support each other through the ups and downs of IVF.
If you’re using a donor during IVF, whether you’re a couple or a single person, it’s important to acknowledge the emotional challenges that can come with this decision.
Many people feel a sense of grief as they let go of the way they thought they’d start their family.
It’s completely natural to mourn the loss of that genetic connection.
Talking openly with a trusted friend, family member, or counsellor, and finding support in online communities, can help you process these feelings and embrace your unique path to parenthood.
Taking care of your mental health before you begin IVF is just as important as preparing your body.
“IVF can be an emotional journey, so having some strategies in place can make a big difference,” said Dr. Guimarães.
“Start by understanding what to expect—knowledge can help reduce anxiety. Build a strong support network, whether it’s friends, family, or a support group. If you’re going through IVF with a partner, keep communication open and honest. Lastly, consider talking to a therapist who specialises in fertility, and don’t forget to prioritise self-care activities that help you relax and recharge.
Here are strategies you can use to minimise stress.
Knowing what to expect can make IVF feel less overwhelming.
Talk to your doctor, ask questions, and gather information from reliable sources to help ease your anxiety.
It can also be really helpful to chat with someone who has been through IVF themselves—they can share their experiences and offer insights that might make the process feel a bit less daunting.
It’s okay to hope for the best, but it’s also important to prepare yourself for the reality that not every IVF cycle will work.
In fact, many couples need multiple cycles before achieving a successful pregnancy.
According to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA), about 75% of IVF cycles do not result in a live birth on the first attempt.
However, IVF is often a numbers game—the more cycles you go through, the better your chances of success.
Being realistic about this can help you manage expectations and stay positive as you work toward your goal.
Having people around you who understand and support you is crucial, but many women feel a sense of shame around IVF and worry they can’t share what they’re going through.
It’s important to break that silence—talking to friends and family can provide much-needed support and make you feel less alone.
Sharing your experiences helps others understand and allows them to offer the right kind of help.
You might also find comfort in joining online forums where others on the same journey can offer advice, encouragement, and a sense of community.
If you’re going through IVF as a couple, it’s vital to keep the lines of communication open.
Regularly talking about your feelings and fears helps you support each other and stay connected.
Remember, as partners, you might not fully understand what the other is experiencing physically or emotionally, so kindness and patience are key.
It’s also common for one partner to feel like it’s their fault—whether it’s sperm issues for men or feeling like your body is failing you for women.
Being open and understanding with each other ensures that neither of you suffers in silence.
Seeing a therapist who specialises in fertility issues can give you tools to manage your emotions.
Professional support can make a big difference in how you cope with the ups and downs of IVF.
Make time for activities that help you relax and recharge.
Whether it’s through exercise, meditation, or hobbies, taking care of your well-being is essential.
Once you’re in the thick of IVF, continue to focus on your mental health with these strategies:
Practices like deep breathing or yoga can be powerful tools for reducing anxiety and staying grounded, especially during stressful moments in IVF.
Deep breathing exercises, such as the 4-7-8 technique, can be particularly effective.
To try it, inhale quietly through your nose for a count of four, hold your breath for seven counts, and then exhale completely through your mouth for eight counts.
This helps calm your nervous system and can be done anywhere, anytime you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Yoga, with its combination of movement and breathwork, can also help release physical tension and bring a sense of calm.
Incorporating these practices into your daily routine can make a significant difference in how you manage stress during IVF.
IVF can feel overwhelming if you try to think about the entire process at once.
It’s easy to get lost in the big picture, worrying about all the steps ahead.
To make it more manageable, try focusing on one step at a time.
Break it down into smaller tasks—like just getting through today’s appointment or focusing on your next injection.
By concentrating on what’s right in front of you, you can reduce anxiety and keep the process from feeling so daunting.
This approach helps you stay present and grounded throughout your journey.
It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated during IVF.
These emotions are natural, and it’s important to acknowledge them rather than bottling them up.
Practising self-compassion is key here—treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend in your situation.
Self-compassion involves being gentle with yourself during tough times, recognising that it’s okay to struggle.
If you need support, reach out to those around you, or explore resources like Kristen Neff’s work on self-compassion at self-compassion.org.
Procriar is at the forefront of reproductive health, fusing advanced technology with a patient-centric ethos. As a premier innovator in fertility in Portugal, with a vast open-ID egg and sperm bank, we’re dedicated to delivering inclusive and accessible solutions for all, empowering individuals and couples to achieve their dreams of parenthood.
If the process becomes too overwhelming, it’s okay to take a break.
IVF is emotionally and physically demanding, and after a failed cycle, it’s natural to feel exhausted and disheartened.
Taking time to step back, process your emotions, and regroup can be incredibly beneficial.
This break allows you to recharge, gain perspective, and come back stronger for the next steps.
Remember, there’s no rush—taking care of your mental and emotional well-being is just as important as the physical aspects of IVF.
IVF is stressful for both partners, so it’s important to make time for each other and keep the lines of communication open.
Regular date nights or even simple check-ins can help you stay connected and remind you that your relationship is about more than just fertility treatments.
Nurturing your relationship outside of the fertility journey is important—whether it’s enjoying a meal together, going for a walk, or just talking about things unrelated to IVF.
These moments of connection can strengthen your bond and provide much-needed emotional support.
Identify what heightens your stress and find ways to minimise it.
This could mean stepping back from social media if scrolling through updates feels overwhelming, or setting boundaries around conversations that are difficult for you right now.
If certain topics or people trigger anxiety, it’s okay to gently steer the conversation in a different direction or take a break from those interactions.
Being mindful of what causes your stress and taking proactive steps to manage it can make a big difference in how you feel during the IVF journey.
Recognise and celebrate the small victories along the way.
IVF can be a long and challenging process, so it’s important to find joy in the little things.
Many people on this journey even have a term for that special time after embryo transfer—PUPO, which stands for “Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.” It’s a way to acknowledge and embrace the possibility of pregnancy, even before confirmation.
Celebrating these moments, whether it’s reaching PUPO or completing a cycle, can lift your spirits and remind you that every step forward is worth celebrating.
Fertility clinics like Procriar play an important role in supporting your mental health during IVF.
Dr. Guimarães explains:
“At our clinic, we understand that fertility treatment isn’t just about the medical side—it’s about your whole well-being. That’s why we focus on comprehensive care, offering both medical and psychological support to guide you through the process. We tailor treatment plans specifically to your needs, helping to ease the stress that can come with IVF. We’re here to answer all your questions and encourage you to stay informed, which can really help you feel more in control. And don’t underestimate the power of self-care—staying active, eating well, and finding time to relax are all vital parts of your journey. We’re with you every step of the way, supporting both your body and your mind.”
Your mental health is just as important as your physical health during IVF.
By taking care of your emotional well-being and seeking support when you need it, you can approach the process with more resilience and strength.
If you’re supporting someone going through IVF, here’s how you can help:
The IVF journey is challenging, but it’s also filled with hope.
Focusing on your mental health and seeking support can help you navigate this process with resilience.
Remember, you’re not alone—support from your fertility specialists and loved ones can give you the strength to face the challenges of IVF.
On World Mental Health Day, let’s shine a light on how important it is to care for your mental well-being during IVF.
Whether you’re just starting or deep into the process, it’s okay to ask for help and take care of your emotional health.
“Taking care of your mental health is just as important as the physical aspects of IVF. By addressing both, you give yourself the best chance to succeed on this journey.”
— Dr. Guimarães concludes.
